The Traditions of Thanksgiving
by LonelyWriter42
Summary: The Hyuga at the traditional Thanksgiving dinner table have many shocking confessions.


The Traditions of Thanksgiving

Author: LonelyWriter42

Summary: The Hyuga at the traditional Thanksgiving dinner table have many shocking confessions.

Disclaimer: Yes, I support Hyugacest.

...

Dramatis Personae:

Hyuga Hiashi: Head of the Hyuga; Hizashi's twin

Hyuga Fuyumi: Hiashi's wife of twenty years

Hyuga Hinata: 18-year-old daughter of Hiashi and Fuyumi; at Konoha College

Hyuga Hanabi: 13-year-old daughter of Hiashi and Fuyumi; at Konoha middle school

Hyuga Hizashi: deceased husband of Hanae and father of Neji; Hiashi's twin

Hyuga Hanae: wife of Hizashi and mother of Neji; sister of Heichi; nurse

Hyuga Neji: 19-year-old son of Hizashi and Hanae; at Konoha College

Hyuga Haruka: sister of Hiashi and Hizashi; Hyuga financial secretary

Hyuga Heichi: husband of Haruka and father of Hiji and Hikaru; lowly college teacher

Hyuga Hiji: 23-year-old daughter of Haruka and Heichi; middle school janitor

Hyuga Hikaru: 20-year-old son old son of Haruka and Heichi; at Konoha College

...

The Hyuga have many traditions and one of them was gathering together at the Thanksgiving table. It was a tradition started at the very beginning of their clan and had been preformed with a single-mindedness ever since. The table had seen many events over the years, the marriage proposals by several Heads, death by poisoning by a jealous wife, the birth of an heir and a panic attack by a family member that lead to a plague quarantine for several months, but never before had it seen as many confessions and shocking deeds at one setting before today…

The day was going exactly the way Hinata didn't want it to go. She had wanted to sneak in the back door and slip quietly into her old bedroom without anyone noticing, especially not her parents, sister, or cousins. But she didn't get her wish.

Of course her father had to spot her in the doorway and of course her mother had to pull her aside and dress her up in some ridiculous costume that was only worn on the third Thursday of November but that didn't compare to what her sister and cousins made her do.

If looks could kill she was sure that she would have killed them several times over and it was only the fact that Neji wasn't there encouraging them to continue their assault on her that she allowed them to force her to play their silly games. First they had dragged her outside and forced her to go through a snow-ball fight that had lasted far longer than she ever wanted to stay outside in the cold and then they decided that they wanted to build a fort with the old maple tree as the crowning centerpiece. Three hours later they had barely finished building Hikaru's "watch (throw snowballs at weaker females) tower" that rose twelve feet in the air when they were called inside to clean up for supper. They hadn't even gotten in the door when aunt Haruka forced hot cocoa down their throats permanently scalding them. When Haruka was done with her assault, Fuyumi was back with another equally ridiculous outfit for her daughters and niece to put on so they could take the dreaded _family portrait_.

Hinata wasn't even sure why they needed their portrait taken, who ever saw it? It was taken then shoved into a box on top of the year's past's pictures, all collecting dust in the memory of the "happy memories you'll be happy to remember when you are older" speech Fuyumi had made every year since Hinata was born.

By this time Neji had arrived from his apartment he held across town so he wouldn't have to come into contact with the rest of the family except on holidays and even then only two of them. He singled out Hinata in the crowd even though she tried to duck behind uncle Heichi and the ghost of her uncle Hizashi. With a smirk he grabbed her arm and pulled her against his side, the apparition of his father behind him. Aunt Haruka giggled that they made a cute couple to which Fuyumi also laughed and said she had been planning the wedding since the day Hinata was born. Hinata's cheeks burned with these comments and even Neji looked uncomfortable but the unlucky couple was saved from further embarrassment by the servant's call that the food was ready.

Hinata made sure that she was on the other side of the table from Neji, wedged in between Hanabi and Hiji. Hiashi gave his long, boring speech about how they should all be happy that they had food in front of them, and there were children in the backwoods that didn't even had an old dirty boot to boil for food. After this the turkey was cut with the utmost care into paper-thin slices.

Potatoes where heaped onto Hinata's plate by her aunts that thought she was too skinny and her mother made sure that she got five spoonfuls of jellied cranberry sauce. By the time everyone started eating, her plate was overflowing and she started sneaking food to Hikaru's dog that was lying under the table.

Conversation was kept to a minimum as most where stuffing their faces or feeding the dog. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, Hinata reflected. The year before Hikaru had conveniently "forgotten" that he had potatoes on his fork when he pointed it at his sister. The potatoes, laced with gravy, had been flung across the room and had landed in the urn that held their great-great-great-grandfather's ashes. Hiashi had gone ballistic and Haruka had laughed for five days straight after that with Hanae and Fuyumi both horrified and trying to retrieve the potatoes. They had later buried the potatoes not wanting to incur the wrath of their great-great-great-grandfather's ghost who was known to haunt the hallways of the house.

A half-hour had passed and they had started winding down, Hiashi and Haruka both tipsy and Fuyumi and Heichi laughing at something that wasn't funny when Hiashi got up to do his "I am thankful for this because that happened" speech. Every year everyone sitting at the table was required to give the speech and, after a small incident where somehow someone had given Hiji's boyfriend at that time the impression that she was sleeping with her brother he had left her and she had taken a vow of silence. For a whole year not even a squeak was heard from her and even though it was tradition, Hinata knew that she wouldn't give the speech no matter how much she was prodded.

Hiashi volunteered to go first just like he did every year, his pre-rehearsed "I am thankful cause I'm an idiot" speech the same year after year and Hinata didn't know why he had to even give the speech.

"Deer! Snorkel! Floogly!" Hiashi proclaimed, breaking with his usual speech and Hinata turned her attention to him, hoping he would say that they didn't have to give their speeches as he had deviated from his usual one. "This time, I, I," he frowned and bit his lower lip as he took a swing of his glass. "This year, I am happy because I sing."

"Are you sure?" Hanabi asked as she continued to carve Devil's Tower out of potatoes.

"No! I do not sing," he growled, glaring at his younger daughter. "I am happy because I got your mother a ring!" He laughed, pulling a small box out of his pocket and handing it to his wife.

"Thank you," she sang and then burst out laughing.

"Now, I am happy because my wife and daughters are in good health, that my other family members aren't dead other than my dearly departed brother. I am happy that my house has a roof, that it has four walls around me, that…"

Hinata started blocking out her father, staring sleepily at her plate. Since Hiashi had found his usual speech again, she knew that it would be twenty minutes before the next person was able to say what they were thankful. She bit her lower lip as she thought about what her announcement would be and wondered what the reaction to it would be. Her father would probably have a heart attack and her mother would go into hysterics with her aunt sure to follow. The only one she was sure that she wouldn't have to deal with comments from would be Hiji only because she hadn't spoken for a year even when she had found out that the boyfriend that she had been sure she was going to marry was going to marry her best friend instead.

"…And I am thankful that my pet goldfish from when I was twelve is buried in a place of honor in the back yard next to the leg lamp." Hiashi concluded, giving a bow and sitting down. "Neji, your turn."

"I am thankful that I was born into this wonderful family." Neji pronounced.

"Hanabi?" Hiashi asked. "Are you done with your potatoes?"

"I am thankful that my father is pigheaded and my mother didn't know how to be a mother when I needed her the most when I was little. The only reason I got through was because of my sister who actually has a brain." Hanabi growled. "I am happy that my father is such an idiot that he has already picked out which courses that I will be taking in college even though it is five years away. I am happy that I can't move out until I am eighteen and I do not want to go to college!" She yelled, jumping to her feet. "You seem to think that I am a good little girl like my sister! But I'm not! I don't want to go into the family business! I want to be a geisha! You can't stop me!" She cried, running out of the room.

"Hanabi!" Fuyumi called after her younger daughter, moving to get up but Hiashi stopped her.

"You can't leave before you are thankful. It is tradition."

"Then I am thankful for…" Fuyumi started but she was cut off.

"NO! It is Hinata's turn!" Hiashi glared. "Hinata!"

"I am thankful for," Hinata glanced at Neji then shook her head. "I am thankful for the fact only women can get pregnant. Men don't have to deal with the consequences of their actions."

"Hinata?" Fuyumi gasped. "What are you saying?"

"I am saying that you will be a grandmother in about five months." Hinata replied. "Aren't you thankful?"

"Pregnant!" Fuyumi fainted.

"Oooh, who is the father," Haruka asked in her silly voice.

"Neji." Hinata said, staring straight at him. He grinned and winked at her, having known before hand because she felt morally obliged to tell him about his impending fatherhood.

"Neji, how could you?" His mother cried. "You aren't able to support a child!"

"Oh, mother, get over yourself. I am not five anymore." Neji rolled his eyes. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of Hinata and the child. I have money saved up if needed. Hinata and the child will not be in need."

"I can't believe it." Fuyumi muttered, revived. "I cannot believe that my daughter has had better sex than me! How dare she! Hiashi! You are a shriveled up, no good, piece of…"

"Fuyumi, not now!" Hiashi growled.

"Not now? You haven't given me a satisfactory night in twenty years! Twenty years! It gets worse and worse every time! I wanted another baby after Hanabi but no, you couldn't perform! Bad sex is the story of my life!" Fuyumi fumed as she stormed out after her younger daughter.

"Wow, if this is the confessional not the dinner table," Hikaru gave a toothy grin. "Then I've got about twenty-one years of repressed emotions I could unleash, right?"

"You are only twenty." Hinata muttered.

"And no, you can't unload your problems on us." Neji said.

"Fine, if I can't, then at least I have to say this: no Mother, I will never get married. I don't like women. I am gay." He crossed his arms over his chest. "And I have found my soul mate. Hagi."

"Hagi?" Hinata cried.

"Not the chicken man," Neji shuttered.

"You are going out with Hagi?" Hiji yelled, grabbing her brother's collar. "You idiot!"

"You broke your vow," Hikaru gasped through the strangulation.

"I don't care! Hagi! Hikaru, are you trying to kill our mother?" Both Haruka's children glanced at her expecting her to be in tears that she wouldn't get grandchildren from her son but she had a loopy smile on her face.

"Oh, how nice. I don't think that there is another gay in the family. Hagi couldn't have done better." Haruka smiled. "Congratulations."

"Mother?" Hiji gasped.

"She is getting shock treatments." Heichi said. "She probably doesn't know what you are talking about. Gawd, why did I get involved with this family in the first place? I could have married a quiet girl that couldn't care less about anything other than pleasing me." He groaned as Fuyumi came back into the room pushing Hanabi along.

"Now Hanabi, let's sit and talk about this." Her mother ordered, glaring at her husband for support.

"Why?" The younger daughter hissed. "I don't care what you say; I am going to be a geisha!"

Hikaru shook his head as Hanabi and Fuyumi continued to argue then looked over at his mother. "You're getting shock treatments?"

Haruka just smiled crazily at him as his boyfriend ran into the room, servants trying to catch him. "Hikaru, help me! My parents are going to kill me!"

"I have to go." Hikaru said, saluting as he got up and walked out the door with Hagi.

"Neji, do you want to go back to your apartment?" Hinata sighed as Hanabi grabbed a drumstick and started swinging it around, turkey flying everywhere.

"No! You can't!" Fuyumi yelled, shielding her face as she turned to her older daughter. "I can't allow you to have better sex then me!"

"Fuyumi. Not now." Hiashi hissed, diving at his younger daughter and wrestling the drumstick away from her.

"Yes." Neji replied to his love as he got up with Hinata following suit.

"Goodbye, this has been a most. . ." Hinata frowned as she tried to come up with a good synonym. "_Eventful_ evening." Hinata was almost to the door when Fuyumi grabbed her arm.

"I won't let you leave." Fuyumi hissed desperately.

Hanabi, for some reason no one wanted to know, had tranquilizers that she gave to her mother. "Go, Hinata, Neji, enjoy the rest of your evening, and may you never remember this one."

"I'll agree with that." Heichi said, taking a big gulp of his sake, wanting nothing more than to forget everything that had just happened.

Haruka looked up at that, an almost sane look in her eyes. "Heichi," she said seductively.

Heichi looked at his wife, cringed, and got out of his chair. "Oh no, not again!" He yelled as he ran from the room, Haruka following him.

Hiji stared in horror at the door that her parents had left through before turning to her cousin. "I'll see you next year." She whispered. "Hopefully I don't need therapy after this…" She muttered as she walked out the door.

Hanae was still sitting in her chair in shock. "How could Neji do that to Hinata? They aren't even married."

Hizashi, the ghost who'd been appearing every year at Thanksgiving since his death, shrugged. "At least it wasn't Hanabi, now that would've been a nightmare. Especially since she's only in middle school…"

Hanae gave her dead husband the best glare she could muster before she got up and left, not saying anything to anyone.

Hizashi waved at his brother. "I'll see you next year! Oh, and talk with Fuyumi, maybe that will help and the two of you won't end up divorced."

"Whatever, bye Hizashi." Hiashi sighed as he downed a bottle of sake.

Hanabi shuttered as she looked at her father. "Bye dad, and take Uncle Hizashi's advice."

"I hope this never happens again." Hiashi said, all alone in the room with his wife. He glanced over at her then left, his wife still drooling on the carpet.

**The Next Year…**

Hinata glanced at her watch, knowing she was going to be late but there was nothing she could do about it. Dealing with a stubborn boyfriend that thought taking a nap was better than going to Thanksgiving dinner and a cranky six-month-old all conspired to keep her away from the dinner table until late. By the time they arrived the "I'm happy," speeches had already been said and uncle Heichi was trying to beat off Hanabi with a spoon so she wouldn't eat his pie.

Fuyumi jumped up and squealed when she saw her daughter and grandchild even though they had been there all day the day before preparing for the meal.

"You mom's catatonic." Neji sighed as they sat down.'

"That would be aunt Haruka," Hinata replied.

"Yeah, I guess." He nodded as he took a dinner roll and started chewing on it.

"Neji, Hinata, since you two missed the speeches, it is your turn. Hinata may go first." Hiashi said, raising his cup to his daughter.

"Me? I'm thankful that little Fumino was born without complications and that I have a guy that supports me without fail." She said dryly, glaring at Neji. "I'm so happy that you change her diapers in the middle of the night."

"Hey. I change plenty of stinky diapers." He muttered, holding up his hands.

"Neji, what are you thankful for?" Hiashi asked.

"Me? I'm thankful for my daughter and her mother. Yeah." He nodded. "That's about it."

"Well then, I am happy to announce that Fuyumi and I have worked through our problems and are not taking a cruise in the Caribbean." Hiashi beamed at his wife who smiled back. "Yes, very happy."

"I say it is boring." Hanabi muttered from under her maiko makeup. "Can't we have another thanksgiving like last year?"

"NO!" Everyone else yelled.

Yes, the Hyuga have crazy get together's but the moral of the story is they don't care because family is family, no matter what.


End file.
